Thursday, September 22, 2011

day 598 | sleep

when tyson and i were trying to decide whether or not we wanted to have kids (which seems like eons ago), we made our list of pros and cons.  one of the biggest pros was that our kids would have family - lots and lots of family.  i grew up as an only child and my family (everyone besides my parents and my grandparents) lived over six hours away.  that being said - my family is pretty large - and even though we didn't live close to the majority of them, they still had a big influence on my life.  tyson had the same experience - only he had a lot more relatives that lived close by.  realizing that my parents were getting older, and our grandparents were getting older - that's partly why we chose to have kids when we did.  we wanted our kids to experience as much family as they could so when they got older - that's what their memories were.  thankfully, both of our kids have had more family experiences than any two little kids could ever ask for.  when our children were born - they had ELEVEN living grandparents.  that number dwindled to nine and yesterday, that number dwindled to eight.

my grandma hasn't quite been the same for years since they diagnosed her with alzheimer's.  in fact, not long before i got married, i remember getting in a huge argument with her because she was driving on the wrong side of the road and she was absolutely SURE she was driving on the right side of the road.  needless to say it was the last time i rode with her because she WAS driving on the wrong side of the road.  so although my grandma and i haven't necessarily been close over the course of the last decade - the one thing i'm thankful for is the time she got to spend with my kids.  when she couldn't remember anything else - she could remember their names and her face lit up when they came in the room.  they would fight over who got to tell her about what was going on their life first - and i'm thankful they both got to tell her about their first days of school.  after all, who gets to go to school and say you have nine living grandparents (and they're all biological grandparents!).

although you always wish there was more time - the fact that her life ended in absolute peace is all anyone can really ask for.  goodbye grandma!


  1. Grandparents are a gift...happy for your memories...sad for your loss. Keep the memories alive...think of her everyday. ~Harmony

  2. HAving worked taking care of her she did light up when the kids came around and on any given day she could always tell me their names. She even knew yours and that they were yours :) She loved you guys all so very much!

  3. Those are precious memories. Violette was a wonderful woman and I feel blessed to have known her. I only had my grandfathers and Catie had her grandmothers until 2004 when my mother passed. Now she only has Lois. Extended family IS important and I really wish I had more of them. But, Violette's memory will live long in our hearts. Our deepest sympathy for your loss, our loss.

  4. Tonja...I'm gonna make my daughter and son read this. I grew up in a time where children were pretty much seen and not heard. So, unfortunately, didn't have a close relationship with either of my grandmothers. I only had one step-grandfather. My dad's father died when I was only five. Right now, my kids have a grandmother (my husbands mother) who lives with me who they can see more often. My father and mother are still alive and don't live too far. My children, who are adults, don't take the opportunity they have to spend time with them. That saddens me because when they are gone, it's too late.

  5. You said this so beautiful Tonja, it came from your heart and so very touching. I am truly sorry for your loss, and yet so happy you have wonderful and funny memories to share with your children as they get older to appreciate each word you wrote. I know they were and are amazing just like you. You and your family have amazing " Guardian Angels" looking over you.
    Our prayers are with you and your family,
    Tim and Patricia Werstein